Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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