Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
