I hate all girls vehemently.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
