The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
