apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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