um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
