I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
