I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
tell me about the fingering
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