Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
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I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
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