I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
My penis needs a shock collar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize