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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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