Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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