My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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