Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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