We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
