There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
this boner is exhausting
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
