alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
