you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I just made out with a guy for $7.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
