She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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