Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize