i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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