She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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