Sober January is a disaster.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
