Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
this is an emotional support booty call
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
