oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
