i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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