Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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