I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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