it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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