New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
