I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
