chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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