Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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