he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
