I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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