So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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