You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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