The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
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just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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