why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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