You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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