Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
