if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
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