My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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