what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
