I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize