What did we do last night that was yellow?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
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We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
They have beer where we have blood.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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