its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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