Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize