Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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