he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
