careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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