I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
