I'm eating all of the evidence.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
