Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
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I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
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It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that