I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed