Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
