Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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