Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
