Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just want to make out with him forever
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
