Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
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I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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